2:45 AM

To be quite honest here, I’m still confused about what am I feeling right now. I really got emotional from what I just read. I’m actually crying right now. Does it sound absurd? Hell I think so too! But it’s just that, what I have read made me realize how much I loved this person. And, I don’t want to be presumptuous here. But, it’s really breaking my heart. And now, it’s like all around me is telling me that what I’m feeling and thinking and seeing is right.

Of course. It’s been a long time. A very long time indeed, since that fateful day that my heart decided to love him. And should I say that this very moment is fateful too? They’re not signs. But they’re obviously denoting something. I tried really hard. Thought about it over and over again. I knew from the start, it should’ve never been there. It should’ve never existed. But for crying it out loud, it did. And, fortunately or unfortunately, it grew. It grew from what I believe was surreal.

Now, I’m really convicted as well as confused. I’m convicted enough now to finally say and admit he really IS important to me. He really is someone special in my life. And that, he really made who I am. But, will all those things said, I’m still confused. Should I continue to hold onto you? Should I keep you here in my heart? And, should I keep on loving you till the end of my life?

Advance happy birthday by the way. I know it’s months away but, I’m not sure if I’ll be here to write something for you again.

You should know…

I love you.


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