in which the words that I desperately want to utter has choked and has left me gasping for air; I breathe but only to be drowned over and over again. Amdist forced letters and spaces, I still find the solace albeit ephemeral, stolen and candid like a bandit in the wee hours of the night. In the supposition of paying it forward, here’s something to some man who was once–hopes still is–an inspiration. Thank you and happy birthday.


tl;dr: a poem written on the notion of “being in love”, unrequitted love that is. Title read as eleven-eleven P.M. Would love to hear what you guys think and so do chirp in the comments section 🙂



Words will always be just that:

w o r d s

that will never be enough

those three words…

One day, someday

I’ll be over you;

but tonight til


let me love you.

Let me cry in your arms

for I find

peace, just like how





Soon enough


I’m grateful through

the day my eyes close,

through the day

the words still cut

but do not bleed.

Not anymore.



I would love to hate everything about you…

except that your almond eyes speak more than your lovely mouth.

except that your nose isn’t real but it doesn’t get long, way better than real but could lie a thousand years.

except that your pink, plump, luscious lips are always filled of better judgment. For others—always thinking about others.

except that your ears will always yearn for that good music you long to give but has been given by you already, even from the start.

except that your rosy cheeks that contain the lone dimple that discards the abnormality of itself.

except that your beautiful long slender fingers fondle the piano and saxophone so well.

except that your goddamned of a body is perfectly sculptured, it’s inhumanly possible not to be devoured noticed.

except you’re too goddamn of a selfless idiot. I hate every fucking selfish bastards instead.

except that you’re an angel born on a lovely rainy day. Definitely sent from up above.


except that I love you too much that it hurts. I hate myself instead.





Part Tri: Kahel ang Araw

Isang panaginip na hindi natutulog,

mga sandaling mintis sa’yo ang dulog.

Sa pagpihit ng hangin at

hampas ng alon,

isang himig ang aking pabaon

ang pangarap—ko ay. ang.

makapiling ka.

Maraming panahon ang ginugol:

tagaktak ng pawis,

sapilitang pagdilat ng mata,

pag-inda ng panunuya, at;

paglaban sa pag-iisa.

Binawi at binaliwala ang lahat

ng makita kang masaya.

Hindi maituturing na


sapagkat ito’y isang


Matuto ring lumipad;

Ang pag-aantay ay sapat.



–Mga Konsepto ng Pag-Ibig ni Aling Bebang, isang trilohiya

“기다릴게, hermit.”

White Flower

Strangled by time and obnoxiousness.

Today, hear the voices of summer on the first

day of you; however the rain, you’re still special.

Indeed. If otherwise, please let me so—

the contrary of your pity,

           is nothing but your beauty.

On par with; or most likely a seraph yourself:

Long, silken, beautiful skin;

That glows beyond tolerable.

Raven brows and lashes;

Those arch and fan impeccably reasonable.

Deep, dark eyes;

Those say more than fathomable.

Cerise and plump lips;

Those curve and open obscurely accessible.

Inwardly, all these but nothing;

I can only mouth these to you.

Your mirth, it’ll live.

However, while you’re gone away.

In all honesty, this is all but you,

And I beg for you to rethink of things—

My own enigmatic shades of white.


-belated happy birthday dear :*

*the healing.

All that I can feel is profound.



Let me admit all the flaws that I bear;

Let me cry for them tonight.

To anywhere but near him; I’m

crying for this unrequited feelings.

With my cherished ones; I’m

crying for my longing and loneliness.

To my façade of false vigor; I’m

crying for my sense of frailty.

With my anxiety and carefully woven lies; I’m

crying for the left sanity in me.

And lastly,

To you; I’m

crying for the gist of guilt inside you.

Only he is not a fool if he admits

he is indeed.


Beautiful Goodbye.

I know it’s been ages. I must admit. This post is an emotion-driven one. I actually can’t contain what I’m feeling right now.

But first, I want to say thank you.

THANK YOU for creating this kind of love. THIS love that no one, no one until now has experienced. no wait. WE have created this love. Each one of us was there when we created this love. And what’s so good about it is that it kept growing – from us, to all the people striving hard to keep this world of ours growing. Thank you for being there for us. For me. Our Sapphire Blue world will keep growing.

Thank you for letting each one of us feel loved. You never failed to keep us remembered how much you care and love us. And since you tried to, even if you’ll be gone, we, I will never forget you. Come to think of it, your face now lingers in me.


Then, I should be sorry.

I’M SORRY for not being always there for you. I have reasoned that you have others as well so I might just leave you at times. But, hell I was so wrong about that. YOU were always there for us, for me. And it pains me to think that I have thought of such thing about you. I’m really sorry for that. I should be also sorry for not being able to appreciate you and what you’ve done for me in the start. I, always thought that you just do things in that way, never thinking that you HAVE always done things in that way because you truly care for us. For me.

I. Remember that I will always love you. from now and on.


Let me fill you up with happiness – I’m repaying you back what you’ve given to me. Let me cry, not because of weariness but because of my undying love for you. Let me be your wings – forever we’ll soar high.


always and forever. let me be with you.


Eeteuk: Thank you to Heechul for becoming one of the members of Super Junior, I love you.


The people I want to thank most is our members.

All the dongsaengs listen to what your hyungs say.

And my friend Jungsoo..

wuli Teukie is really very tired, thank you very very much.

Lastly, I want to thank our fans, ELF.

I will come back safely.

chinese tran cr: 凝幻@微博

english trans by @xavier_x007x from worldwideelfs”

it’s not the end. it’s just another and.

wish i was there for you!


Yeah I know title is so cheesy. But who can help it? who can resist the charm he emits? I know, I know maybe you’ll say that I’m just a crazy fan like everybody else. but believe me, it’s no ordinary ‘fandomism’. What the heck? I don’t care. What I know is that, this is right. If a small chance maybe, if he can read this, I want you to know, leeteuk, my angel, that even if there’s the miles away gap between us, I know I love you deep in my heart. I wanted to be always there for you no matter what. And it hurts deep inside cause I know there’s a little possibility that I can be with you.

I hate the fact that I’m just a nobody in your world while you’re a “somebody’ in my world. But despite all  those facts, I want you to know that your music had inspired me. Inspired me in a lot of things. Its been great since I’ve known you from YouTube, sj-world.net, angeleeteuk, and every site I can find you. I want you to know that you have inspired me that really true love exist. Cause in my life, you do exist. I wish I was there when you felt that you wanna give up. I wish I can be there for you all time. Actually, I have been here all along for you. But I wanted to be right where you are.

I wish that by any means, somehow you would notice my message for you.

here’s an original composition I made JUST FOR YOU. entitled ‘everyday’

Everyday by enneilu


you gave light,

to brighten the path.

Showed there’s hope,

deep inside my heart.


Your smile,

gave me strength.

to face all those hardships,

Oh now, I want to thank you.

Chorus I.

Everyday, of my life,

oh how I want to be with you,

Everyday, of my life,

oh how I want to live with you.

(hope there’s a chance for me)


I’m so thankful,

oh God, for giving me my angel.

everything from you,

illuminated to brighten my day.

Chorus II.

Everyday, of my life,

oh how I want to kiss you.

Everyday, of my life,

oh how I want to be touched by you.

(hope there’s a chance for me)


And now know, it would be an impossible dream.

But I wish, you could know,

You’re the only one for me.


Everyday, of my life,

I’ve been blessed by God,

Everyday, of my life,

You’re the only one…

One for me.