11:11

in which the words that I desperately want to utter has choked and has left me gasping for air; I breathe but only to be drowned over and over again. Amdist forced letters and spaces, I still find the solace albeit ephemeral, stolen and candid like a bandit in the wee hours of the night. In the supposition of paying it forward, here’s something to some man who was once–hopes still is–an inspiration. Thank you and happy birthday.

 

tl;dr: a poem written on the notion of “being in love”, unrequitted love that is. Title read as eleven-eleven P.M. Would love to hear what you guys think and so do chirp in the comments section 🙂

———-

 

Words will always be just that:

w o r d s

that will never be enough

those three words…

One day, someday

I’ll be over you;

but tonight til

morning

let me love you.

Let me cry in your arms

for I find

peace, just like how

I

found

You.

 

Soon enough

 

I’m grateful through

the day my eyes close,

through the day

the words still cut

but do not bleed.

Not anymore.

 

Grip.

Wide-eyed frantic stare;

Loomed above the streets below

are busy—

Let’s hope tonight will come.

Eager bodies and restless souls:

Enslaved by their own. On their own.

Vaguely, I only made out

the commons we had.

Wasted time.

Wasted opportunities.

were not.

I bought the wrong ticket.

And you left.

Who am I not to be still

                enthralled

by your beauty?

You eased the pain I’m feeling;

I wish for you to never grow old.

Opened arms and loving smile—

Closed, calm eyes:

I hope for the night to come again.

I would love to hate everything about you…

except that your almond eyes speak more than your lovely mouth.

except that your nose isn’t real but it doesn’t get long, way better than real but could lie a thousand years.

except that your pink, plump, luscious lips are always filled of better judgment. For others—always thinking about others.

except that your ears will always yearn for that good music you long to give but has been given by you already, even from the start.

except that your rosy cheeks that contain the lone dimple that discards the abnormality of itself.

except that your beautiful long slender fingers fondle the piano and saxophone so well.

except that your goddamned of a body is perfectly sculptured, it’s inhumanly possible not to be devoured noticed.

except you’re too goddamn of a selfless idiot. I hate every fucking selfish bastards instead.

except that you’re an angel born on a lovely rainy day. Definitely sent from up above.

 

except that I love you too much that it hurts. I hate myself instead.

 

 

—–

©JN2013

Ethereality of Mortality

Those three words are said too much; too much certainly, that they may have lost its own candor—innocence even. They might… No scratch that. They’ll never be enough. And thus, I shall negate everything that’ll come out from your mouth. Everything that’ll escape between your lips—the very same with pink, plump flesh that I yearn for. And the very same where I have seen that lured mine even with full cognizance that behind it were pair of beautiful, long fangs. I let myself be bitten.

I shall address the familiarity the image is giving me: the contrast of how saturated the picture despite the wryness radiating from it.

And that’s how polar our personalities can be. Indeed, you’re due west, and I’m on a straight line heading east. And we may travel along the equatorial line, the tropic of cancer or the tropic of Capricorn—it won’t matter. For as long as the Earth rotates on its axis we’re bound, destined even, to meet each other again.

As the turtle races towards the sun, with it shall be the length of my loving of you. I shall whistle of a happy tune: no one shall know I’m afraid and lost without the nearness of you.

As the water flows down the river or run deep in the vastness of the seas, with it shall be the gentleness and tenderness of being with you.

And…

As the fire blazes it ferocity shall come with it the burning passion and desire to love you over and over again.

—–

©JN2012

Part Tri: Kahel ang Araw

Isang panaginip na hindi natutulog,

mga sandaling mintis sa’yo ang dulog.

Sa pagpihit ng hangin at

hampas ng alon,

isang himig ang aking pabaon

ang pangarap—ko ay. ang.

makapiling ka.

Maraming panahon ang ginugol:

tagaktak ng pawis,

sapilitang pagdilat ng mata,

pag-inda ng panunuya, at;

paglaban sa pag-iisa.

Binawi at binaliwala ang lahat

ng makita kang masaya.

Hindi maituturing na

                katapusan,

sapagkat ito’y isang

                kinabukasan.

Matuto ring lumipad;

Ang pag-aantay ay sapat.

 

 

–Mga Konsepto ng Pag-Ibig ni Aling Bebang, isang trilohiya

“기다릴게, hermit.”

Part Tu: Bughaw ang Tubig

Kathang isip, o aking iniibig,

batid kong malayo kahit pa

sa panaginip.

Maikling katanungan, bukas pa

malalaman ang daan;

‘di makatulog ng mahimbing—

patungo saan?

Nangungusap na talukap:

takpan ang hiwagang bumalot

sa katawan;

ihahatid ng mga pakpak,

sa pampang na may galak.

Minsan pa’y sabik sa’yong haplos,

Mistulang Hangin:

pinagkamalang daplos.

Ngunit sapat na nga ba ang lahat,

o ang abono’t binhi ay salat?

 

 

–Mga Konsepto ng Pag-Ibig ni Aling Bebang, isang trilohiya

White Flower

Strangled by time and obnoxiousness.

Today, hear the voices of summer on the first

day of you; however the rain, you’re still special.

Indeed. If otherwise, please let me so—

the contrary of your pity,

           is nothing but your beauty.

On par with; or most likely a seraph yourself:

Long, silken, beautiful skin;

That glows beyond tolerable.

Raven brows and lashes;

Those arch and fan impeccably reasonable.

Deep, dark eyes;

Those say more than fathomable.

Cerise and plump lips;

Those curve and open obscurely accessible.

Inwardly, all these but nothing;

I can only mouth these to you.

Your mirth, it’ll live.

However, while you’re gone away.

In all honesty, this is all but you,

And I beg for you to rethink of things—

My own enigmatic shades of white.

 

-belated happy birthday dear :*

*the healing.

All that I can feel is profound.

E.m.p.t.i.n.e.s.s.

So,

Let me admit all the flaws that I bear;

Let me cry for them tonight.

To anywhere but near him; I’m

crying for this unrequited feelings.

With my cherished ones; I’m

crying for my longing and loneliness.

To my façade of false vigor; I’m

crying for my sense of frailty.

With my anxiety and carefully woven lies; I’m

crying for the left sanity in me.

And lastly,

To you; I’m

crying for the gist of guilt inside you.

Only he is not a fool if he admits

he is indeed.

©JN2012

wish i was there for you!

HE’S MY SUPERMAN!

Yeah I know title is so cheesy. But who can help it? who can resist the charm he emits? I know, I know maybe you’ll say that I’m just a crazy fan like everybody else. but believe me, it’s no ordinary ‘fandomism’. What the heck? I don’t care. What I know is that, this is right. If a small chance maybe, if he can read this, I want you to know, leeteuk, my angel, that even if there’s the miles away gap between us, I know I love you deep in my heart. I wanted to be always there for you no matter what. And it hurts deep inside cause I know there’s a little possibility that I can be with you.

I hate the fact that I’m just a nobody in your world while you’re a “somebody’ in my world. But despite all  those facts, I want you to know that your music had inspired me. Inspired me in a lot of things. Its been great since I’ve known you from YouTube, sj-world.net, angeleeteuk, and every site I can find you. I want you to know that you have inspired me that really true love exist. Cause in my life, you do exist. I wish I was there when you felt that you wanna give up. I wish I can be there for you all time. Actually, I have been here all along for you. But I wanted to be right where you are.

I wish that by any means, somehow you would notice my message for you.

here’s an original composition I made JUST FOR YOU. entitled ‘everyday’

Everyday by enneilu

I.

you gave light,

to brighten the path.

Showed there’s hope,

deep inside my heart.

II.

Your smile,

gave me strength.

to face all those hardships,

Oh now, I want to thank you.

Chorus I.

Everyday, of my life,

oh how I want to be with you,

Everyday, of my life,

oh how I want to live with you.

(hope there’s a chance for me)

III.

I’m so thankful,

oh God, for giving me my angel.

everything from you,

illuminated to brighten my day.

Chorus II.

Everyday, of my life,

oh how I want to kiss you.

Everyday, of my life,

oh how I want to be touched by you.

(hope there’s a chance for me)

Bridge.

And now know, it would be an impossible dream.

But I wish, you could know,

You’re the only one for me.

Outro.

Everyday, of my life,

I’ve been blessed by God,

Everyday, of my life,

You’re the only one…


One for me.